The FOMO Report: Nuit Blanche

By Jay Winston Ritchie

I didn’t really have FOMO about anything this weekend, except maybe Nuit Blanche, but Nuit Blanche is basically an extended period of FOMO (did I go into every room at the Belgo? is the Montreal Symphony Orchestra giving a pop art workshop to toddlers underwater?) so by missing out on Nuit Blanche altogether I essentially experienced Nuit Blanche more wholly than anyone.

Instead I went for dinner with my friend’s mom who was in town. We went to Maïs, which has amazing cocktails. I ordered a “Paloma,” my friend ordered a “Tequila Old Fashioned,” and his friend who is now sort of my friend ordered a “Le Smokey Bear.” I felt that the cocktails were superlatively representative of our respective personalities. My friend’s mom drank water, because she was on antibiotics.

We waded through conversations about Quebec separatism, the nuances of cheek kissing, and the ecological benefits of condo developments vs. the pernicious effects of gentrification before we arrived at the point of interest that my friend’s mom had served three years in the Canadian Army.

I also learned that

- A narwhal tusk weighs 20 pounds

- People who were born in Quebec but had never lived in Quebec were allowed to vote in the 1995 referendum

- Caribou are naturally curious animals and will approach you if you are sitting quietly on rock in Nunavut

- Attendance to geology conventions can reach upwards of 25,000 people

- My friend was born at exactly 9:29 a.m. on 09/09/90

- My sort of new friend’s little brother lives in a converted school bus and explores logging roads in northern B.C. in search of good ski spots

- Female officers were first trained by the Canadian Army in 1975

FOMO rating; “Paloma”.